Fan Fiction

Yo Dawg!?


“So where to now Ms Oswald?” says the Doctor as he tips his fez. With glee and excitement, Clara lets out a loud, “Surprise me!”. The doctor then rushes over to the TARDIS controls and begins slamming away, twists some dials, pulls a lever flicks switches then back to fiddling with more dials. After several minutes of bashing away at seemingly random buttons the TARDIS kicks into life. With the usual whirring it begins to take off. By now Clara has learned to hold onto something and brace for impact, rightly so as landing was especially rough. Picking himself off the ground the Doctor stumbles to the front door whilst stammering, “that could have gone a little better”.

Opening the doors lets in a huge gust of foul smelling air, it was like the smoggy dirty air of New York to the 100th degree. Few seconds of inspection led the Doctor to deduce this was pretty much accurate. They were in the 102nd incarnation of New York, or New new new new new new… York. Like playful and excited little puppies they both go racing out into the streets to explore. Running along the streets was difficult given how incredibly crowded it was, aliens of all kinds now lived here. No longer was New York a solely human inhabited place, in the short 5 minutes they had been exploring Clara had already bumped into and been name called by 19 different species in 21 different languages.

Many hours passed by as they aimlessly wondered around soaking up the culture, at this point hunger was starting to set in. “Do you think these street vendors sell fish fingers and custard?” asked the Doctor. Replying with a giggle and a smile Clara says, “nah i don’t think so, those chili dogs do look good though!”. They approach the man/alien/humanoid looking thing selling the chili dogs and ask how much. “Snarff scarff blarff yo!”. “I believe that’s £1 to you”, translates the Doctor. Money was exchanged food was had and they were on their way.

No more than 10 minutes went by when the Doctor collapsed and began gasping for air. “What’s happening to me yo?! I can only feel one heart and I’ve got this weird cap on somehow?!”, confusion was setting in. Both were panicking and staggering around calling for help, but nobody was reacting, it was as if they were dull to this situation and didn’t care. Clara wept has the Doctor lost consciousness in her arms, tears ran down her cheek and into his face. Time felt like it was slowed down to her, “How could this be happening, it was but one chili dog?!!!”…

Just as Clara was giving up hope, the Doctor burst back to life. Springing to his feet and promptly adopting a swagger stance he began spouting off, “Yo sup ma home dizzle, where we at?. I’m mad hungry, gimme dem chili dawgs ya feel me?”. Confusion was well and truly Clara’s reaction, “what has happened to my Doctor” she thought. The Doctor then began strutting off, sporting the classic gangster lean, exaggerated arm swinging and of course the backwards cap (label still attached for extra swag appeal). This was it, the new Doctor. He has swag. The newest regeneration was ‘The Swag Doctor’… To be continued.